Posted: 08-08-10
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Posted: 08-04-10
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The police are asking help in identifying the two assholes who beat the shit out of a guy in Kennedy Fried Chicken on Knickerbocker, and took his belongings. WATCH THE VIDEO!
Posted: 08-04-10
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For all you junkies that still love your diesel, it's gonna be little bit harder to find your junk. According to courant.com a gentleman named Arturo Diaz, 47, residing at 370 Bushwick Avenue, apt 2G, and his accomplice Irving Colon, 40, of 264 South 1st st, apt 6A were busted with 4,000 bags of heroin. The cops also seized 2 vehicles, $575 in cash after a shipment arrived in Fairfield, CT. The whole story is here.
Posted: 08-03-10
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Finally a practical use for the vuvuzela.
Posted: 06-22-10
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So cool. Found this beaut on Essex St.
Posted: 06-22-10
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If you can't dazzle her with your good looks or brilliance, just talk shit about her boyfriend with a pen in the subway. Idiot.
Posted: 06-13-10
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According to "The L Magazine" Woodhull hospital is exchanging art of all kinds in exchange for "health credits" to the tune of $40/hr. Now I know what you're thinking and you're probably right. Why would I give them my awesome art in exchange for the worst possible healthcare in the worst possible hospital? The answer? I dunno, but if anyone tries this program, please write to The Bushwick Dream (to the left is a contact us link) and let us know how it went, we're super curious. Full article Here.
Posted: 05-10-10
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Posted: 05-05-10
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Damn you, damn you, goddamn you. You're like a Mr. Brainwash with less creativity. If it wasn't enough I have to read your stupid name everywhere I go, you put your asinine logo ov........ No. You know what? I'm not even gonna stoop to your level.
Posted: 05-05-10
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Who likes mushrooms? No, not the ones that you eat and giggle like schoolgirl, puke and see shit in the future. Just mushrooms, some you've heard of, some maybe you haven't. This guy in Bushwick, Kendall Morrison, 47, is growing them by the boat load. Read the whole story here at The New York Times.
Posted: 04-26-10
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This fucking genius.
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Posted: 04-07-10
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Someone needs teacherer.
Posted: 04-02-10
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Granted it's only the second day of April and the high today was about 65, some crazy cats decided to try a dance party complete with DJ. I heard it got moved inside. E on effort.
Posted: 04-02-10
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If anyone has a really long range flame thrower, now may be the time to break it out, and walk over to Jefferson St and Wyckoff ave., look up, aim and put this sorry excuse for a national symbol out of it's misery.
Posted: 03-27-10
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So you better treat him right. Or, he'll do your taxes wrong.
Smooth moves seen at Metro and Graham.
Smooth moves seen at Metro and Graham.
Posted: 03-17-10
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And it ain't about hipsters! Trailer here.
Posted: 03-10-10
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This guy fought tooth and nail not be arrested. The first photo showing how damn hard he was fighting. The second is of the five, count 'em five, blue shirts that it took to get him in the car. His friend with his back to the camera was trying to talk some sense into him, but he wasn't hearing it.
Posted: 03-10-10
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Cory Feldman is crying into an empty martini glass.
Posted: 03-10-10
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According to the Daily News the police are giving $190,500 to 14 teenagers who claim to be falsely arrested on Myrtle Avenue. They were on a way to a wake for a gang member killed by gang violence. Of course, the cops and the higher brass say there was no wrong doing. Well at least it's nice to see the police just feeling truly altruistic all of the sudden.
Posted: 03-06-10
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Bushwick's very own Roberta's is having a seminar on raising cute little rabbits in their back yard. Then, you'll learn how to slaughter, disembowel, defur, and cook the lil' buggers. Mmmmmmm..........
Posted: 03-03-10
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One of Bushwick's finest and funniest natives was born today in 1916. He was born Herbert John Gleason. We know him as "Jackie". He attended PS 73, where the kids today remember him by having no clue who that black and white fat guy is. Here's to you Jackie, I hope you're drinking whiskey and smoking cigars with Sammy Davis, Jr. If you want a more detailed story, you can look here at theThe Brooklyn Eagle.
Posted: 02-26-10
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Looking for this Israelite...
Posted: 02-22-10
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Posted: 02-22-10
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Posted: 02-22-10
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Oh yeah?? Wanna see some really fucked up shit? How about a site that just connects you, at random, to any other person via webcam....worldwide. It's like some sort of strange futuristic people zoo, with an unlimited amount of unique species. I just did it for like, 3 minutes, and I'm already terrified. I saw things no man should see. It's called Chatroulette! Take your chances.....
Posted: 02-19-10
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A man was robbed on Bushwick ave, according to NY1, on Monday. Take a good look, he may be a neighbor.
Posted: 02-19-10
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It happened on Schaefer street. I think that about says it all. If you want to read more the village voice, has a slight bit more.
Posted: 02-18-10
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Everything was going just fine. The new store on Knickerbocker and Hart was selling and leasing miscellaneous appliances, saying "hi" to the neighborhood, and then, WHAM! This fucking prick of a purple gorilla shows up, starts throwing heavy ass furniture.... and wearing shades, on a clearly overcast day. What a dick.
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Posted: 02-18-10
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The streets are fighting back against the people who upkeep some of it. Apparently (according to ABC) the other night at 3am an underground explosion sent a manhole cover flying through the stale air of Bushwick and nearly killed a Consolidated Edison worker. Found it nyah.
Posted: 02-17-10
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As reported by The Gothamist....LEAVE!!!!!!!!
Posted: 02-12-10
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A man with a BB gun was gunned down in Bushwick for stupidity. He was taken to this hospital. Read about it here.
Posted: 02-08-10
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That is all.
Posted: 02-03-10
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Today I saw a girl drop her cell phone, when it bounced the back came off and the battery popped out. The battery landed in what may have been the grossist puddle in Harlem, clearly at least 6" deep, full of garbage and topped with the a thin oil slick. She sucked it up, put her hand in the muck and retrieved the battery. She then turned around and proceeded to accidentally kick the cell phone into the sewer. The look on her face was priceless. She put the battery back in the puddle and walked away cursing. :)
Posted: 01-21-10
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So, it's five minutes to 4:00pm and I'm having a quick one and on the tv happens to be ultimate fighting. There's one gentleman whom I believe to be about 6'4", 240ish, Puerto Rican, maybe 42 years of age, and he LOVES the fighting. However, he's going on about how it's okay for one man to kick another man in the nuts. Judging by the looks on the other few people in here, he's the only one. Oh yeah! And, he keeps calling his girlfriend (who's here) "the cunt", and in the 3rd person. I'm soooooo confused. He's also been asking for a ciggarette. He did however say something really funny. The sysco foods truck just pulled up, and he yells "I know this nigga's got a ciggarette, 'cause he's got a depressing fucking job."
Posted: 01-12-10
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Fart funny as shit
Posted: 01-05-10
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Posted: 12-26-09
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I caught this guy staring in my window after the snowfall. Judging by the Brooklyn Dodgers hat I figure him to be about 95.
Posted: 12-26-09
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Posted: 12-08-09
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Who the fuck wears a white scarf????
Posted: 12-06-09
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Posted: 12-06-09
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I understand this isn't Bushwick, but this was too damn funny to not post.
Posted: 11-20-09
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Posted: 11-17-09
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As seen in previous posts here, this damn pussy has gone from mooching menace to homeless ass sleeping on the bench near The Archive and The Snatch.
Posted: 11-17-09
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Well con-fucking-gradulations. King bloombucks is going to win an incredibly tight race. I just hope by posting this before the votes are completly counted it'll have the Dewey/Truman effect. To all of you whom didn't vote, I hope you die of dysentery (which will inevetibly happen as rent will now be skyrocketing and you'll be living in the gutter.). To the fucking imbaciles whom voted for Scumberg, I wish worse. I hope you get explosive diarrahea caught between subway stops with either a track fire or a sick passenger in the tunnel ahead of you. Then I hope you die (of fucking embarrasment.). Also to asshats that allowed Kingburg to run thrice, I don't even need to belittle you, you've done it already. I hope Satan isn't real, because he's got your fucking number.
Posted: 11-03-09
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FUCKING VOTE!!!!!!!
That is all.
Posted: 11-03-09
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It's a really obscure number, I don't think you'd know it.
Posted: 10-02-09
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So somebody saw some random chemicals in a box with a can of paint and decided to call 911. The thing is when you call the fire department in this city, they bring EVERYONE. You can't really tell from the picture but there was like 6 or 7 fire trucks here, all for what? Well it turned out it was just film developing chemicals. A neighbor told this to the cops when they arrived and was harassed and told by midget cop that he'd put his foot up his ass. Nice.
Posted: 09-30-09
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You know Goodbye Blue Mondays? No? It's a neat little bar/cafe tucked away on busy Broadway. Besides being an ode to ol' Kurt Vonnegut they have tall boys of PBR and live shows. Last night these blokes from the south called "Listener" played there, and they're fucking awesome. Besides having a raging singer/poet as a front man they have another guy who plays the washing machine. Check them out here.
Posted: 09-25-09
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Or not.
Posted: 09-25-09
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Ever wonder what happens with that grass the trooper took from you? Well, now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Posted: 09-25-09
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Well I guess it makes 'em harder to steal.
Posted: 09-22-09
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This guy is a personal friend of mine and I swore I would do everything in my power to help him. This child is a real handful and he desperately needs help. Since he posted this video of desperation he's had over 60,000 views, numerous responses, and it's even been shown on television in Germany and Sweden. Alas, to no avail, this single dad has asked for help from TheBushwickDream.net If you're out there and see this, do the right thing.
Posted: 09-18-09
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In the end you just get a bowl of pits.
Posted: 09-18-09
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So I'm at work and I am about to go into the office, when something catches my eye. Semi-naked women. One of the guys at work left these on the prep table. All these two cards say is "delivery". Delivering what you ask? I have a sneaking suspicion that these "business cards" may or may not be selling sex. Hookers to be more specific. Either that or sexy women in bikini's deliver food or maybe weed. I don't want to get anyone in trouble so I have taken the justice of deleting some numbers.
Posted: 09-16-09
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Okay so I was just surfin' the ol' net, and I came across this today. It's written by The Village Voice. It's a great article. It was written two summers ago. I suggest taking the time to read the whole thing. The Second Battle of Bushwick
Posted: 09-09-09
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Just watch. I dare you to not laugh. Or cry. Either way, this is.....is.....well.....it's something.
Posted: 09-08-09
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So I'm fucking around on craigslist today and what do I come across when I search for Bushwick? Some dude is handing out (hilarious) beatings to hipsters in Bushwick, free of charge, and he may or may not be framing innocent animals. He's started recently too, these are posts from 9/3/09 and 9/4/09. Check 'em out, watch your cello playing ass. End of story.
Posted: 09-08-09
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Mayoral campaigns can be a real fucking bitch sometimes, like when you're faced with voting for King Bloomberg who strong armed his way to run for a third term. Let's face it, ol' Mikey sure is going to be hard to take away the incumbency from. Who else can we vote for? Well.........here's the solution!! THE REVEREND BILLY TALEN!!! Look at this fuckin' guy, with faux Morrisey pompadour, giant Green Party button, Smurf blue blazer and priestly vestments. And, who's he pointing at? Jesus Christ it's ME!!!!!!
Posted: 08-31-09
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Summer time blues got you down? No air conditioner? Out of Alpo? No worries, just go sit in that empty spot where the a/c should be and watch the cats and hipsters go by N 7th.
Posted: 08-31-09
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Watch your ass, I just saw Handbanana making a break for it out of a house on Troutman. He was heading north on Knickerbocker chasing a fat, balding, middle aged man.
Posted: 08-27-09
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If god were watching..... He'd be upset. You sicko.
Posted: 08-20-09
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Please remember to conserve your yellow paint. You'll never know when you'll need to paint a schoo bu.
Posted: 08-18-09
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And a 30 day metro card is worth $89. Sooner more than later they'll be nearing or exceeding $100. Whoever did this is obviously speaking out against the shitty service, shitty prices and shitty smelling trains (mainly on the a, c, and e trains). That, or they just thought the next guy to walk by this masterpiece (on Waverly Pl. in The Village) would laugh his ass off. (I did.)
Posted: 08-18-09
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But cussing mother fuckers out is always worth every penny.
Posted: 08-18-09
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Posted: 08-06-09
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I suggest maybe a drawer or on a hook near the door, preferably on the inside of your apartment. Places I do not suggest; inside a lion or on a wrought iron fence post on Grattan street right near where you park.
Posted: 08-06-09
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You have to try this site it's fucking awesome.
Posted: 08-06-09
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As seen in this post here, someone is really stressing the point to read. In my heart of hearts I want this person to be a librarian whose job is on the ropes. That, or a just some dork with a lot of spray paint. Either way I am on his or her side for whatever he or she is trying to say. Having trouble starting? Try this.
Posted: 08-06-09
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a bunch of beer, a roof party, artists, a black marker and the drywall next to my bathroom? A divine dog by Dane. I like him, I named him ??????? ?????. Like him? Here's more of Dane's stuff
Posted: 08-04-09
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This is the sign above the car wash on the corner of Flushing Ave and Knickerbocker Ave. There's so much wrong with this sign I'm not sure where to begin. Well, first, how many fucking apostrophes do you need? Jesus, I just realized someone probably paid for this too. You would assume that somewhere along the lines of ordering this beaut it would have crossed someone who spoke English better than a four year old Chinese immigrant with little to no knowledge of the language. Does the machine that makes these signs not have spell check? Does the person operating it hate his job, or just this specific car wash? Oh and see that "wow" in the background? I'm pretty sure that's the building actually saying "wow, what a shitty sign" to itself because they printed it like this on both sides.
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Posted: 08-04-09
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Posted: 08-04-09
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Okay so we all know that Brooklyn's Natural, or "the snatch" as I prefer to call it is a rip off. Not because the same food, toiletries, animal food and whatnot is actually cheaper at Whole Foods, but they're charging more based on two things; 1) They kind of have a monopolistic stranglehold on the area, seeing as though they're the only ones open late and, well, they're the only ones, period. 2) They charge more because it's basically all organic. Well folks now you can just get shitty groceries with tons of chemical crap added because a giant independent study says ORGANIC DON'T MEAN SHIT! Read it here.
Posted: 07-29-09
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So the BrownSTONER.com posted an article about "our kids" being exposed to "pot in the park" and "porn at the library." They say it's part of the "local culture" and that "love it or hate it, it's here to stay." 1) If you are smoking weed near children in the park or near the playground, you could and should be arrested. Not because it's "against the law", but because "you're a fucking numb-skull." 2) If you are a grown adult and you are viewing porn on a library computer, you could and should beat off. Not because "it's the right thing to do" but because "you could and should be arrested." Read it here.
Posted: 07-25-09
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You can't fucking fool me.
Posted: 07-25-09
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When you're all too awake do you have a smoke to calm your nerves? żEs usted un verde de dibujos animados con una guitarra y cigarrillos? This poster may be for you!!!
Posted: 07-25-09
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Well booze, of course!! Plus some other neat crap. And, a few other spots too!!! Wine like a baby!!!
Posted: 07-23-09
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These dudes robbed a BP station at Bushwick and Troutman on 7/7 at 11pm. They are also suspected in robbing another place on Wilson ave. and Jefferson ave. on 6/26. Know em? The cops would love to know. Check out these morons on video. I don't know how why any of them wasn't chewing a piece of Bubblelicious to put over the lens. Also, no one at the Bushwickdream.net neither condones nor condemns the use of the NY Post, Toyota Prius, BP, the robbing of BP or theft in general. Don't get the wrong idea.
Posted: 07-23-09
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So I just saw something so cool. I was sitting in a bar off the L train which will remain nameless. All I can say is it's steps from an L train exit. I was sipping my rum when two dapper looking fellas came in and sat next to me. It's about 1 AM and the larger of the two men gave me a smile that chilled me to my very core. The barkeep walked up and handed the smaller gentleman a leather messenger bag. I think it's zippers were locked together, but I can't be sure. Now, the smaller chap was about 5'10" and 250 lbs. He had a head the length of a rugby ball and the genral roundness of a regulation dart board. Unfortunately, I have already drank too much to come up with any good synonyms for the larger, hulkish man. However, I digress. After the exchange of the briefcase the larger man ordered two shots of what I believe, was Jameson. They promptly did their shots and were handed a brown paper bag. Also, the smaller man gave the bartender what looked like slips for sports betting. It was like something out of "Goodfellas." I feel more like a man for having witnessed it. Also, if you see this post and it offends anyone in "the family" please just leave a message next to my sleeping wife in the form of a severed horse head. I'll get it when I get home, I work late.
Posted: 07-23-09
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Yep. It's 95% wrong and filled with racist comments. Can't believe I read this. Make sure you make it to page 2. We're neatly filed between bushwhore (a blind follower of George W Bush and his administration's policies) and Bushwick Bill (of The Gheto Boys).
Posted: 07-21-09
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Well thanks to a bunch of fucking morons with mediocre art and no sense of WHAT IS FUCKING SACRED, we no longer have the giant mural near the corner of Houston and Bowery that was done by Keith Haring in 1982. I'm told it's Brazilian artists named Os Gemeos. Portuguese for "the twins." Apparently, it's identical twin brothers. How people with such an original name choice could choose such an already painted spot, I'll never know. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this art ain't okay. It's aight. I've seen the one in Coney Island, but, it sure of fuck didn't belong on top of of a Haring mural. It's like taking the fountain in front of Lincoln Center and replacing it with an open urinal. I'd probably even LIKE it if it were somewhere else. HEY! I GOT IT!!! Put it HERE!!! Here's a link to The Gothamist of them painting it.
Posted: 07-21-09
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Okay, I just saw this other day and I have been told by one of my investigative team members that it's been taken down already. Here is one of the odder street art/anti-Bloomberg pieces I've seen. I've only seen a few, but this one's neat because they used a horrifying picture of him. Also, I apologize for cutting off the words on the right in the second photo. If you use your brain just a little, you'll know what the words are supposed to say.
Posted: 07-21-09
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You know how people are always chopping up those wet paint signs to say such clever musings as "ain't wet & wet taint." Well the other day when I got off the L train at 6th avenue I saw one that read "t pain." I don't know what the hell that means, but I'm pretty sure it's excruciating.
Posted: 07-21-09
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I have come to the particularly ubsurd, gross realization that the porn revolution hath taken a crazy leap forward. Any device that is delivering Internet to phones is delivering porn. That's right, folks. Spank-ta-vision to go 24/7/52/365. You now have the right to look at the people who touch your food slightly differently. Also, I'd start tipping better and stop being rude just for the fuck of it. You want fries with that? No? What's that? Sorry no refunds.
Posted: 07-17-09
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I would like to believe that in the future, say, when I'm like 60 (if I make it that far) things will have only changed for the funny. I hope to make a post about 30 years from now with an ipod hanging from razor wire.
Posted: 07-14-09
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One white fedora with matching white shoes $185. One lime green suit, $150.99. Being so tired from pimpin' you're sleeping on a bench at third avenue..... fucking priceless.
Posted: 07-14-09
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This may be for you!!! Click this bitch right here -----> Bitch
Posted: 07-14-09
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Hell no, he "doesn't do Brooklyn." Take a read you'll see what I'm talking about.
Posted: 07-14-09
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Gentrification is the "new fire."
Posted: 07-10-09
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So you're sitting around and you have some cardboard and spray paint. You're 19 and just read The Rum Diaries and "it changed your life." So epic. You're also not very creative and definitely you're not very smart. So what better way to immortalize good ol' Hunter than to spray paint HIS emblem in drab white on a brick wall the size of infant. Listen jerk off, if you're going to spray paint on a wall, do something good. Do something original. Don't take someone's shit that's already INCREDIBLY overplayed. Why don't you just spray paint the Nike sign everywhere, and sign it Banksy. Fucking idiot.
Posted: 07-10-09
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I think they may be all three. Read on.....
$100 RENTALS IN BUSHWICK???
$100 RENTALS IN BUSHWICK???
Posted: 07-07-09
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I caught this cat hanging outside The Archive on Bogart street just mooching food from some dude who was eating a sammy. He said it wasn't his. If you see this cat, tell him your on to him and you're not playing "that" game.
Posted: 07-07-09
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I know what you did this summer............
Posted: 07-07-09
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A hipster is smoking Bali Shag. Also, God is smiling on Barack Obama
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Posted: 07-07-09
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Okay so here's the situation. My parents went away on a weeks vacation. But enough about that, on to the bedbugs. This is the 2nd one you've found there RD. I think you need a ton of poisonous white powder strewn throughout your mattress and hard wood floors. If you need help I would try hazmat. Also from now on anyone entering my apartment will have to strip naked and be deloused like jail. I already have roaches (not even the "cool kind") I don't need bedbugs too.
Posted: 06-24-09
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